Fell in love with a married woman: What can I do

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Richard has fallen in love, head over heels for a woman, but she is married. And although the two often meet, want to you not having an affair with him. Or left her husband. How he will come out from this Situation. Pierino, I have fallen in love about a year ago, in a married woman (Olivia). When I saw you, I had the premonition that it might be dangerous. She is exactly the woman I search: extremely attractive, smart, witty, and in a natural way very erotic. I'm a dentist, she was a patient of mine, and we came after the treatments we were both knowingly and intentionally, in the length, then quickly to the topic of private conversations.

Obviously, we can talk really good and intense.

I've always looked for a woman, but I can't imagine that there is someone who is exactly like this and all the positive characteristics that I'm looking for. I work Blankenese as a behavior therapist and love coach in private practice in Hamburg. In my PhD I have done research on the connection between the relationship of personality and the luck in love, and then two books about love written. In short, it sounds so stupid. But she's got me twisted in the head. However, you said at the very beginning of our conversations, clearly and unequivocally, that she is married, happily married, and do not go for it is out of the question. And a separation from her husband. So far, nothing is in the direction happens, although we are starting to hit more frequently for a coffee or for a walk in private.

If I would have to say that it crackles, it would be driven completely under.

We're both in love each other, she confessed to me, as I have asked you time to your feelings.

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But the fact remains: you don't want to cheat on her husband.

You go out with me, we were dancing, we can write quite a lot and is always very open and intense.

But there is no Chance that she leaves her husband, or in an adventure with me crashes.

I can imagine, however, not an adventure or an affair with her, but I want to be with her. Most of the time I can handle the Situation quite well.

The work distracts me.

I have a girlfriend, I take a lot (I was never so in love as you are now in Olivia.) But sometimes the despair grabs me, though, that I found the right woman, but not together with her can be. It would be really nice, And I feel dependent on them because I know that I could not end this story so easily. I would really suffer. I don't talk to friends about my feelings, because I expect you to tell me: What do you want to go there. You're torturing yourself. Honestly, I would have friends the Same rates, it would be the only sensible way, and I see myself as a rational man. But I can't Olivia, and don't want to. I have intense fantasies and daydreams with her, I am glad about your news, am in front of our excited to Meet and leave every detail to the Meeting once again, a thousand times. I can't give that up. You have an idea on how I can better deal with the Situation.

Dear Richard H, I give your friends right.

It would be the only sensible Option is to draw a line. Because you are in Olivia not the partner, find the one that you dream of. Many desires will remain unfulfilled. Your relationship is missing: No kisses, no Sex. Not a common week, no everyday life, no joint decisions on the big and small questions of life. I said, it would be reasonable to give up everything. They would grieve for a while, and then probably again, more calmness and inner peace. But how would you go if you had no contact with Olivia. Would not be missing a very important page of your life, if you stifle the love for her quasi-intentionally. Maybe you should make friends with the idea that great emotions always have their price. You are about to experience something very Special. Just as it sounds, it is the first Time in your life that you feel like for a woman.

How would it be if they say to themselves, consciously, that it's damn difficult to keep contact with Olivia, that you on a Path with many UPS and downs, loneliness, Frustration, sleepless nights, and many other things.

But on the other side, the feelings, the triggers Olivia in them, they only really come alive.

It may be that you would otherwise have to be factual, to many pragmatic compromises would make in your life.

Olivia wakes you up, escorts you inside, brings a romantic side to the Blades.

Andrea met at a Workshop Yannis.

It sparked between the two. Intensive discussions and nights followed, but in the meantime, Yannis is much more distant. Part of a problematic relationship history. Maybe you could make a conscious decision to take the disadvantages and downsides of this crazy connection. And internally, to say: I suppose that I have these feelings, tell from my mind, nothing and not defeat.

It is important that you the problems that occur, attention and self-caring approach.

If you feel lonely, you could write, for example, aware of your feelings for yourself.

Or do a relaxation exercise.

You may also find in your circle of friends someone who doesn't deal with love themes in a rational and black-and-white, but also open to it, to give irrational Connections room. It you good would to share with someone who has had similar experiences. Love is a very feeling-driven, illogical and sometimes irrational. You can't control who you no longer make love with or be very consistent in the cord, if it fits. Maybe you can allow yourself to be by their emotions driven and ride sometimes like a small boat in the storm on the waves of your feelings. Apparently, it is valuable to you and you don't want to miss it. One more thing: Look at the point that Olivia does not want to cheat on your husband, if you have not done it yet. You told something very Important about yourself and your limits. I'm going to assume that you do not feel internally that it would be good for you, or that they would even break when she throws this principle. It would be important that you give up your hope that Olivia will be your partner. You make the boundaries and the game of their connection rules are very clearly aware of, and try to move it so that you get more intensity and vibrancy.

And those feelings are mostly associated with pain.

Warm regards, Julia Pierino Daniela has an affair with a married man. For you, it is the great love, but he does not want to set. His marriage seems to be important to him, but the affair he doesn't want to give up. How to Daniela handle it.